7/5/05
I realized something about myself today. I love work. I believe it defines me. I had to call my dean today and let her know what is going on. I broke. It sucks to break on the phone with your boss. I think it happened because I love work. I guess by having to get subs for my class, it becomes a bit more real. I am zoning out a lot here. It's becoming overwhelming. I break. I get consciousness, and then I break. I have to keep hiding from mitra. I don't want her to know I am this scared. Not because I am hiding but because she will break if she sees me doing it. I do wish her mom were around. I think she could keep her grounded and secure. I try when I am clear, but when I'm cracking and falling apart, I'm not sure that would do her well.
posted by json @ 3:31 PM
1 comments
1 Comments:
Mitra will be fine. She will hurt but in the end she will be ok ... She was smart enough to find you and you are smart enough to write down all of these overwhelming feelings. It is the one saving grace of the big "C" that you get the time to say everything you have on your mind ... all your concerns ... all your fears ... all your love ... to call those who were special in your life. I know Angels who think of you often and who watch over you. Mitra is going to hurt and be sad and miss you but she will know you loved her and worried about her and because of that she will be able to come to grips with it. If you get a chance leave here a note to let her know she is ALWAYS loved as I know you have been.
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