How my doing?

Ok. Getting by. Met with the doc on Friday before treatment and he said that I am doing good, "terriffic actually." That don't mean nothing to me right now. All that means is that I am staying healthy and the chemo is not tearing my body apart. It doesn't mean the cancer is leaving. We need more time to tell. But I think in about a month they will run some tests to see what is going on. We did talk about diets and supplements, and found out some interesting things. He said that I should avoid anit-oxidents because anything that is going to make my body stronger is also helping the cancer become stronger. Crazy hu? Cancer is really such an amazing little bugger. Kind of makes you want to go get drunk and smoke a couple of packs of fags.

Overall, I have more strength than usual. I'm getting around a lot and doing almost my daily routines. I get going for a couple of hrs, then crash pretty hard for a while. Rest a while, then get back to it. I think I've been pretty lucky with my nurses and docotor. They really have done a nice job medicating me just enough to fight of the side effects of the chemo. I go in a couple of times a week for iv because i've been dehydrated. I'm also getting hooked up on some anti-depressants because I get too down and frankly a bit suicidal during my down times. I'm just starting to plan for the worst, and I know that it might be a little too soon to be working out the logistics. The truth of the matter is that I don't want to die under chemo treatments. I want to have a little time just feeling pretty normal. I don't think I want to die in a state of decay. I want to go out doing something fun and just enjoying the heck out of dirt, sun, blue sky, ocean and love. Not a needle jabbed into my chest, and cold sterile walls.