A Perfect Paradox
I welcome you to destroy me
It’s happened so many times in history
I hope that you destroy me
So I can come back burning clear
I’ve yet to be clear to you
Things get in the way and my vision blurs your vision
I’m going to let your eyes and soul look on me blindly and clearly.
SO destroy me sadly, heroically, fiercely.
The worst part is not knowing if I will in fact rise from these ashes.
I guess I will rise, but in what form will I be? I guess I need not get wrapped up in the form of my return and only be confident that some form will rise from these desperate ashes full of that urge and urge and urge.
This potion pains me and destroys me. My muscles I feel shrinking in horrific spasms. Depressing weakness overtakes me. Fear debilitates me. The sadness in the eyes of those around me haunts me and tears pieces from my soul. Remember to remind my soul: This is not the form I want to rise in.
posted by json @ 12:52 PM
5 comments
5 Comments:
Jason, sounds like you're pissed right now. Keep letting you emotions out. Everything I've read from you is so honest and real, that I think that millions of people would be blown away at how you have been able to put into these words the way countless of people feel, but can't express it. When you are better, publish this and screw visiting Hawaii, you guys retire there! We constantly have you in our thoughts and prayers. It looks like you have a lot of great friends lending support also. We're here for you.
Brother,
hold strong.
I love you, so lean on me when you need me day or night.
I will drop everything to hold you and Mitra up.
Strange how an oak tree can be blown down in a strong wind but a reed will outlast the storm. Sometimes being weaker and flexible makes you stronger. J, I read this today, and I see you embrace your weakness. And I see in you strength leading to strength leading to strength.
What you are doing takes immense courage, I think. It takes courage to have the kind of hope that believes despite appearances rather than in light of them. It takes courage to believe that God is not only at the end of things but that he's in the frustrating, scary, desperate, and angry middle of things. It takes courage to bend with the wind when the rot of the world, it's great "not right-ness", turns up in your insides.
And it takes courage to let us in on that. And somehow, your honesty about your weakness gives me life. You inspire me.
And I hope that in some way I, and all the others of us who love you, are able to inspire you too. I am praying that you are bathed in life and saturated in love.
Your words are very inspiring to me.
God bless.
Hey Jason, remember that song you wrote a long time ago that went- "When you fall, all I want to do is pick you up and sing you my song, when I fall, all I want you to do is pick me up and sing me your song."
That was and still is a great song because it applies to your relationships with others. Let us sing to you for a while.
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